It’s far more common to betray ourselves than to be betrayed by another. If my partner stole money from our business, I can blame him, but it might be more real and productive to look at me. Why did I believe in an untrustworthy man? Was there some greed or laziness on my part that allowed or set up his actions?
If my wife has a relationship with another man, it may appear as if she betrayed me. After all, I’d been faithful. I’d done everything that a good partner was supposed to do. But things aren’t always what they seem. Maybe I didn’t allow her to be herself. Perhaps I controlled her, stifled her growth, or maybe I just stopped growing years ago.
On paper it seems as if she betrayed me, but actually I may have betrayed her, and therefore us. For her own growth she was compelled to look elsewhere. She might even be praised. She had the courage to end a relationship that wasn’t serving either of us. Now we both have a fresh chance to grow. Even if someone actually does betray me, I have to ask if I’m betraying myself by holding on to it. Life is too deep to neatly figure out. But don’t look to other’s. Look more to how you betray your own life by stifling your growth or freedom.
How Do You Tell If You Are Betraying Yourself?
We’re a delicate balance of physical mental, emotional, unconscious, and spiritual. Many things can throw a wrench into our inner well being.
The yardstick to measure if something brings freedom, or not, is how much tension it creates inside you? When you go against the grain of your heart and soul, you will feel it in your body via the nervous system.
If you fight for something you believe in, the tension and struggle feels good.
If you go against the knowing of your own heart it is self betrayal.